“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

There’s a famous quote that says unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. To me, that comparison is as clear as day, barely needing any explanation. But as popular as the saying is, there are still so many people who would rather reap the consequences of their unforgiveness than put aside their pride long enough to forgive.

“Pfah”, they say. “You have no idea what she did to me, it’s simply unforgivable.” First of all, I’m thinking that the reason they’re able to say that with such conviction is that they’ve never done anything themselves to need forgiveness for. What’s that? Nothing like what the other person did? It matters not, forgiveness is forgiveness regardless of the offence. We all mess up and hurt people in different ways whether intentional or not, and if we want to be obedient to the Word of God we need to extend forgiveness when it’s required of us.

I think back to the story of Joseph in the Bible, and how it’s often used as a lesson in endurance and faithfulness to God in the midst of. But there’s another lesson there as well, one of forgiveness. The fact that Joseph chose to forgive his brothers when they finally stood before him in the end is a lesson we can all learn from. He could have allowed bitterness to creep into his heart over the years while he was in Egypt, and spend the time planning his revenge.

And who would have blamed him? From a natural perspective retribution seemed totally justifiable in Joseph’s favor. I mean his brothers sold him like livestock to strangers, their own flesh and blood; never looking back. Added to that, they lied to their father, letting him believe that his beloved son had died a savage death by wild animals. If this doesn’t sound revenge worthy I don’t know what does.

But by the end of the story Joseph had let it all go. When he finally had the upper hand over his brothers and was in a position of power to do with them as he pleased, he chose not to retaliate. Instead he humbled himself, choosing the path of forgiveness. Ahh, there’s that word, ‘humble’, I think it’s what we struggle with the most. Having to humble ourselves enough to, not only offer forgiveness, but accept it as well. Some of us would rather put hot coals under our tongue.

But there is no grudge, real or imagined, worth holding on to that tightly. Nothing in this world is worth us missing out on eternity with our Heavenly Father. Just as Joseph chose to let it go, we should as well. We cannot pick and choose the commands in the Bible that we want to obey and find justifiable reasons to neglect the ones that we find simply too hard to follow; and believe me, saying I’m sorry is sometimes one of the hardest things to do, since it goes against our human pride and nature.

But it is necessary. There’s a reason why forgiveness is mentioned in the Bible so many times; because it’s beneficial to our own spiritual healing and wellbeing. Left unchecked unforgiveness and bitterness festers the soul and leads to so many more unpleasant things. Yet we take it to our places of worship on Sundays, lifting up holy hands alongside hearts that are holding grudges against our spouses, parents, adult children, mother-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, co-workers and sometimes more than one of the above. We worship with clutter in our hearts when the Word of God clearly tells us otherwise.

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25 (NLT)

Friends, we’re not hurting anyone but ourselves by refusing to reconcile our differences with others. Half the time that other person is out there living their best life and not even thinking about us, while our own spirit is shriveling up in bitterness as we continue to nurse our slights and hurts. We need to put it all aside and forgive. It’s the Lord’s way.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)

So today, for our soul’s sake, let us extend that olive branch: make that phone call, send that text message, get into our cars and drive if we have to, but let it be a step in the right direction to bridge gaps and mend fences. The results may not be like the ending of a Hallmark movie, where everyone is happy and the birds are singing, and we may not get the response we hope for at first, but that’s alright, it’s a step in the right direction, and if we’re being obedient to the Lord, it’s all that really matters.