When we look back over the years at the friends and acquaintances we’ve made along the way, we can probably put them into different categories. For example, there are those seasonal friends who’ve passed through our lives at one point or another; you know, the college roommate, co-worker from a part time job, exchange student etc.

Then there are those close, lifelong friends. The ones we consider near and dear to our hearts, the ones we call besties. These are the friends whose opinions we cherish, and with whom we share things that we never share with anyone else. We love to spend time in their company and could chat with them for hours about everything and sometimes nothing at all.

But falling within the mix of these friendships, is that one friend (or maybe two) that we’re not exactly sure which category they fit in. We know they’re our friend, yet they never seem to be around when our back is against the wall. As a matter of fact, we never really hear from them until they need something from us.

With that being said, I recently examined my friendship with the Lord based on the above assessment, after all, He does consider us to be His friends. “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” John 15:14. Was I, as good a friend to Him as He was to me? Were we as close as two friends can be? Or was it a one sided friendship, where I only went to Him when I needed to pour my heart out, or beg Him for stuff? Were there days when I met with Him for no reason at all, “Simply because.” No pressing agenda, just because He is my friend and I want to spend time in His presence?

I have to admit that I found myself coming up way short; realizing that there were indeed times, too many times, when I treated Him like that one-sided friend. Running in and out of His presence, sometimes with barely concealed haste, leaving just enough time to keep that rigid, one-hour appointment. In my mind I could imagine the disappointment on the Lord’s face as He’s getting ready to respond to my request or inquire about how I was doing, while I’m already hurrying away, calling out “Bye, see you same time tomorrow!”

The Lord should not be added to our list of things to do. Do the dishes, check. Pick up clothes from the dry cleaners, check. Spend time with Jesus, check? Sounds cold doesn’t it? But when we subconsciously lump our devotion time into the category of, one more thing to get done, this is exactly what we’re doing, be it unintentionally.

Friends spend time with each other because they want to, and enjoy doing so, not out of a sense of duty or obligation. I also hear people say things like, they’re not sure what to say or how to say it, or that they’re uncomfortable with the silence. But the truth is, that’s how we feel about anyone we don’t know well; but it’s also true, that the more time we spend in that person’s company, the more comfortable and relaxed we become with them. We find ourselves opening up and asking questions, listening to their responses, and sometimes just actually enjoying the silence with each other. Why should it be any different with the Lord?

If we truly consider ourselves to be a friend of God, we have to put in the work that a true friend does, the same as we would with any other earthly friendship. No hasty prayers flug up to heaven on our way to something else we consider to be more exciting or important. And yes there are times when this is all we can truly manage, but it cannot be our modus operandi. God has been way too good to us, and He deserves so much more.

So make your next appointment with the Lord a meaningful one. Pull up a chair, get comfortable in His presence with a cup of tea or hot chocolate, set His Word before you, and meet with Him on purpose.